Why your mother-in-law hates you
Families are sometimes closed groups with rules despite having beautiful and adorable surfaces, ugly things are deep within them. Joining them as a lady sometimes poses a threat and discomfort to the mother.
By Florence Machoka
The mothers become jealous of their daughter in-laws for they think that their sons have been snatched away from them and they start treating the lady with so much hate and resentment.
When the son marries the mothers feel replaced and some of them cannot stand it. It is hard to deal with the 'mama's boy' they tend to hear and do everything they are instructed by their mothers. Even if they discuss anything as a couple and the lady says anything ill about the mother, he goes and spills it to the mother making the mother hate the daughter in - law.
Sometimes the mothers should understand that the ladies are also human beings and they have families which they left in order to start their own families so they need support not to be despised but to be supported.
Backgrounds also matter so much to the jealous mother in - laws like if you are coming from a poor family they will treat you so badly like in any argument they will remind you of your background but those coming from well off families are respected and treated nicely. Even if they make mistakes the mother is the one to apologize and pamper them more.
Modern women have gained empowerment through financial independence, higher education, and managing personal finances. Preceding marriage, they establish their own benchmarks, yet this can lead to friction post-marriage when they confront the rules and norms set by their in-laws, particularly the mother-in-law. Understanding the household’s various dynamics and rules becomes crucial.
Also, if the daughter in- law goes to gossip about the family things. Sometimes some families keep their doings within the family walls and do not like to associate with other people from the society. If the lady makes friends outside, the mother won't trust her with the family matters and if she hears anything from outside it makes her furious and angry. Also, sometimes the mother can warn the lady about something and she goes ahead to do the same thing this angers the mother making her to ill-treat her.
Initiation of change. A man may be the sole breadwinner of the family and when he marries, the percentage he gives to the mother reduces for he has to cater for his own family. This makes the mother see the daughter in- law as an intruder who has just taken her territory making her fight back for it.
Not all mothers are the same. Some really get happy when their sons get married. They treat them with respect and so much love for they take them as family. Having a good relationship with your mother in - law is like having a second mother for you feel comfortable being part of that beautiful family.
Mothers are supposed to understand that a man has to leave his family as well as the lady has to leave hers in order to join together to make another family. That's how the family lineage will grow and if yes, your son marries that lady, you want and you find she is inferior somewhere will you still blame her?
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